“I intend to do great things with the life that Transform has given me, just watch this space!”
I knew I was transgender when I was three years old but I didn’t come out until I was 18. My family didn’t want to talk about it which was really hard. So when I was 19 I moved out and got a place with Transform in Woking.
It was really decent. I had quite a few friends there, it was more like a family home rather than a hostel! It was a very supportive environment which was quite new for me.
I had to leave there to go and look after my dad. I enjoyed spending time with him but I really didn’t enjoy the place so I moved back to Woking. I was sofa surfing for a little while and then I ended up living in the woods for a couple of months. All I had was a duvet, I got quite wet most of the time. I was pretty worried about not having anywhere to live and I was panicking about what I was going to do.
I found a homeless hostel which was only temporary but from there I was referred to another Transform project. When I got told I had a place I was quite relieved and happy! When I moved in I only had the clothes on my back so the room felt quite empty and echoey, but I love it now – it’s like my own universe.
I intend to do great things with the life that Transform has given me, just watch this space!
I was quite unstable when I came to Transform the second time. I had a lot of mental health issues but I’d never been referred to any services or been prescribed anything, so I was quite unwell. The staff worked really hard to make sure I got the help I needed. My local GP surgery refused to prescribe me the hormones I needed for my transition. My keyworker at the time had to fight to get me the medication I needed. She eventually went to the Ombudsman and won which was amazing – there’s no way I could have done that by myself. When my keyworker told me that I would be getting the hormones it was a huge deal, it was such a long struggle!
I feel pretty positive, life’s on the up.
Transform has pretty much helped with every part of my transition. They came to different appointments like doctors, meetings, implants, speech therapy – Anna has helped me with everything. I wouldn’t have had the confidence to do it on my own, I would just get too nervous and never go out!
Now? I feel pretty positive, life’s on the up. I’m not messing up as much as I was. Before I was constantly drinking too much and getting into trouble or doing things that weren’t healthy. I’ve got my future planned out now I can think a bit clearer. My anxiety is a lot less than it was my depression is lots lots better. I would never have thought it was possible years ago but now I’ve got so much ambition for things that I want to do.
My next goal is to move out of here and get my own flat. I want to be independent and start a little business so I don’t have to rely on anyone else. I want to do everything myself, that way I haven’t got to have anxiety around dealing with other people.
To be honest I probably wouldn’t be alive if it wasn’t for Transform or I’d still be living in those woods. This was literally the last resort. So I intend to do great things with the life that Transform has given me, just watch this space!
Lauren was able to apply for a grant from our ID fund, available thanks to a generous donation from Unum UK Charitable Donations Committee…
There had been a few times where I had trouble with different things because I didn’t have any ID which had my legal name and gender on it. There were times I had to use my old name which was quite hard psychologically.
When I passed my driving test, I sent off for my driving licence and it come back with my old name and gender on it. I put off updating it because it was expensive enough to do the lessons let alone pay for a new licence.
Then Anna said that Transform was able to pay for it, I felt really good. I will never forget the day it got delivered. I opened the letter and I had to sit down to take it in! It was my first official ID since I changed my name – it was quite overwhelming. I was very happy to say the least – I’d waited a lot of years for that.
I’ve literally seen with my own eyes staff transform life after life. You can say it’s just a hostel but I’ve seen it time and time again – people come in here with no confidence and lots of issues and they leave much more confident. They leave with ambition and hope! Some of the people I met here are just totally unrecognisable now. Just one year can really change people, giving someone a room, even just for a few months can make all the difference.